Warning....long and winded, heheh....but there is a freebie somewhere in here!
Hi all....long time no talk. I know I mostly talk to myself here, but still...I feel badly for not being here. I have been trying to recover from all the little trips, get ready for my grandson to come, organize all the clothes I am getting rid of (the boys and my size 4-8 I will never get into again, lol) on ebay...still scared to try it out. Plus Chase has been doing swim lessons (he is doing fabulous by the way,heheheh)and getting ready to do soccer. We also are getting ready to replace the siding on our house (we have one side...the side with the master bedroom...that has mushrooms growing out the side. No wonder I am always feeling cruddy). Phewwwww!
Let's see....what else is going on. Well...my youngest step daughter is turnign 16...having a camping trip to the coast for her, her boyfriend :-0 and a couple girls....fun fun fun, hmmmmmm. Hayden has been increasingly challenging. I mean...realllllllllly challenging. Hubby is still driving me nuts. We got Vonage...will let you know how we like it. My oldest stepdaughter finally got another job...the middle is due with my first grandchild any day now.
I have been trying to find motivation to start taking better care of myself...it used to be so easy...now I am just so tired and tired and tired.
I am going out on a limb here...talking about kind of a taboo topic (though it shouldn't be)...debated whether to or not...but will in case there are others out there like me. I owe it to you to talk about it.
So...I have always been a little "moody"...prone to bouts of mild depression. Runs on BOTH sides of the family along with compulsions and addictions...well crap...did I get the good DNA or what? lol. I was always able to keep it working for me untill after my second pregnancy. Both of them were hard...but his especially. Bed rest...horrible birth, sick baby, trips to schriners, collicky, oldest son having a hard time (he was only 2) and marriage was VERYYYYYYYY rocky. Plus I had Post Partum Depression. I know this is taboo subject of late...but it is real. It is scary. It is harddddddddddd. It is more than just the blues. It is "I don't want to get out of bed, brush my teeth, can't cope bad!!! AFter 6months of pure hell...I finally got help. I got on some antidepressants and some counseling and started to come back. If this happens to you...please please please don't be afraid to talk about it. You are not a bad person. You are not a bad mother.
Bad part...I was put on Cymbalta. It deals with the seretonin levels as well as the body aches I was getting. Thought just a couple months and I would be fine. Well folks...here it is...he is now 2.5 yrs old. I have tried to get off of these "NON ADDICTIVE" drugs several times now...but the side effects are crippling. I tapered down...can even skip a day...but if I go two days....severe dizziness, nausea, fatigue and a general sense of being in a big fog and out of it hits me. This is beyond scary for someone caring for two small children. I have researched it online and found story after story of the same thing from tons of ppl...male and female. they basically all say....You will go through 8 weeks of Hell before you can BEGIN to start to feel better...not great...just better. I cannot do that! So...I am awaiting an appt with my doctor...where we will probably put me on a diff drug to taper me down and then try to stop.
My point is...why dont' they tell you this before hand. I NEVER would have taken this drug...there are so many others that work pretty good that don't do this? I am so angry. But I was so desperate at the time that I just trusted my doctor. Please please please research your prescriptions before blindly taking them. I feel so trapped right now. After two years of not being able to really cry or feel any kind of emotion strongly or have a real sex drive (both side effects of this drug)...I am so ready to get off!
I am a little embarrassed to be saying this here...but hopefully I can make you guys think before taking anything. I am all for help...but be careful. Read up on it. Talk about it. If we talked more about depression and PPD...we would be so much better off.
I got tagged my Gina...finally answering it, lol.
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
OH mannnnnnn. I don't wanna answer thisssss! Let's see. Yup. Twice. Once...I was young, parked on the wrong side of the street...open container in the back of the truck...oh yeah...being drunk by some more under age kiddos....and trying to get them home....started driving (without my lights) and was still on the wrong side (I WAS TRYING to get on the right side, lol) He was really nice....let me get them home....I wasn't drinking.
2nd time....I was with the wrong ppl at the wrong time. Nough said, lol
2. Do you close your eyes on a roller coaster?
nope....yell and scream
3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
When Chase was 1.5 yrs old. We went up to Tahoe.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
This is such a bad questionright now, lol. My hubby snores....my youngest has been having a hard time being away from me....so I would rather sleep with him. That way we ALL get a good night sleep!
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes, I really do. My mom says ever since I was 4, she has noticed strange things happening around me....and they continue to this day.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? (silly, I know ... but very "now")
hmmmmmmmm. I used to say Jennifer, since I thought Angelina was strange and a man stealer. But...she is such a humanitarian..and so involved in issues other than her. So I guess I would say Angelina.
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Not as much as I used to (worked in the state legislature...but still know some things)
10. Do you know how to play poker?
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yup...lots of times for entirely diff reasons. Partying and Parenthood.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
Hmmmmm...I am not really sure. Don't watch them much....though I like Gina's pick.
13. Who was your first love?
My first REAL love of the opposite sexx (non romantic) was my dad (step dad). My mom and I had such a rough life up until then. He was so good, sweet, caring and involved...with both of us. He made my mom sooooooo happy. I loved himmmmmmmmmmmmmm so much for that. My first romantic love......sigh...long, drawn out, painful and a huge learning experience
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
Not on purpose
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes....I have several....and as much as I love my mom and my husband...they are the closest to me...but no one will ever know them.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes....16 yrs ago
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
All the time. I was trained to do so in college. I loveeeeeee my dreams.!
19. What's the one thing on your mind?
How much stuffffffffffff I have to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
21. What talent do you wish you had?
hmmmmmmm....talent. hmmmmm. I wishhhhhhhh....I could multi-task better.
22. Do you like Sushi?
nope. I tried, I really did
23. What do you wear to bed?
tank and cotton capris
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Hate?????? nahhhhhh. not worth it. Though there are people who really bug me, heheh.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
I so couldn't. I am so committed to Brandon. And before...nahhhh. Never was into sex without real feelings and knowledge of who they were
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
hmmmmmm.....nope...not that I know of.
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Raw Octipus, anything too exotic...like dung beetles etc.
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
I must say....I did when younger...not to be malicious, though now I know it would have devistated them
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
will have to find some ppl to tag....mahaaawahhhhaaahaaa
I have a challenge starting today at Digital Freebies...a 2 parter. Do the two sketches and you get this prize
Go here to check it out.
I also have a new kit out...one of my faves yet! And it is 40% off this week at Digital Freebies
and....a new freebie for you guys. An alpha to match my Creative Expression's kit Please do not share and leave me a comment!! I love to hear from ya!
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